My initial predictions in this series proved inaccurate as most of my official predictions are.
My NBA Draft preview wasn’t even named accurately as it was actually an NBA Draft Lottery preview. It was more just me posting some pictures and saying what everyone already knew without discussing shit about the other 59 players that will be picked on a date I don’t even know.
My Heat v. Celts preview probably would have been accurate as it is happening exactly as I expected so of course I didn’t even write it.
All of that being said, I have now watched all of these games and have a vague understanding of what is happening so I figured I would try it again. I assume the Vegas bookmakers will want to study this as the opposite of what will actually happen.
Game 4 – Thunder 112-98, Russy Westbrook continues in the role of playmaker and Thabo remains stuck to Parker like glue. The Thunders length, athleticism and ability to insert the biscuit in the basket on the reg overwhelms the Spurs. Harden gets 30, Ibaka blocks 8 and Durant continues his evolution into Iceman 2.0
Duncan now resembles that dude with 2 knee braces and the worn out jersey from a summer tournament 15 years ago you play against at the Y, Ginobili loses his swag after seeing himself in a 360 degree mirror while shopping for Capri pants and Parker remains the most controlled and creative player on the floor but isn’t good enough to over come the overwhelming talent of the OKC kids.
Immediately following the game ESPN analysts declare them dead, crown the Thunder the probable 15 time NBA Champs and wonder if Tebow could play Power Forward for them due to his intangibles.
Game 5 – Thunder 91-90. Now we really get the royal ESPN hype machine treatment. Duncan is a bum, Pops is just a wannabe Donald Sutherland
Matt Bonner is an April Fools joke but no one had the heart to break it to him.
The villagers get out the pitchforks and torches and everyone proclaims the end of the great SPURt of 2012. The TNT team wear dresses and pretend to be Eva Longoria and Shaq runs around on his tip toes in New Balances in white face paint. It is all over but the pennies on the eyes for the corpse of San Antonio.
Game 6 – Spurs 118-95. Skip Bayless told everyone who would listen
Pops is a smarter, shorter more mystical Phil Jackson, Duncan is rejuvenated and might play for another 10 years. Manu torches Harden for 33 and Parker plays out of his mind. EVERYONE on the World Wide Leader explains that they didn’t say the Spurs had no chance, what they meant to say is that there was no chance these Spurs could be beat. Going to G7 in Texas, the Thunder will just have to wait for next year. Westbrook panics and takes 32 shots and Durant seems to vanish in the 2nd and 3rd quarters.
Game 7 – Thunder 112-107. Ding Dong the Big Fundamental is dead. Durantula and the super athletic Thunder shock the world and win Game 7 on the road. Ibaka holds Duncan to an embarrassing shooting performance and the OKC back court runs circles around the visibly fatigued Spurds. Russell the Love Muscle gets a triple double in delivering his defining performance as a pro. Shredding the inferior traps and elevating to get 2 any time from anywhere Reggie Miller declares Russy to be the best Point Guard in the NBA. The NBA gets it’s dream match-up with LeBron against Durant. Somewhere David Stern counts another pile of money in his gold plated secret laire.